”Blame the Parents” | 3 influential habit CHANGES our parents hand down to us

Your parents, born in a very different time in fitness history, impacted your health! But that means you can still shift away from what doesn’t help and move toward what does. Habit change is all about making the moves which fit your life.

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What’d we say? | Podcast Transcript



What’s good. I’m Johan Francis CSCS. Thanks for joining me and welcome to my show. Ego Killer! It’s right here on this show that we cover all the moves you need to make inside the gym. So you can literally move better outside in life, where it matters inside the gym is where we test our limits. We push our body. We overload overload allows us to adapt. So we’re learning to adapt inside the gym. What, for the challenges, the stressors, and to have a very happy, healthy life on the outside of the gym. I hope you can pull something from today’s episode and apply it. I want you to apply it today. Okay.


A lot of what we do inside the gym is challenge convention. We challenge the conventions of how we were raised, what our beliefs are, how we believe our body moves, what we like to do, physically, what we’re used to doing physically, how our body either tolerates stress or absorbs it. Right? We learn that in the gym over. And, and let me give you an example. If I ask you to do some type of eccentric pushup, which is really going slow towards the floor, and then you have, let’s say low back pain, or when are your knees hurts disproportionately? Well, that actually, and it might sound silly to you just as a casual observer. It actually tells a very longitudinal story about your life. Like yo, your hip hurts from the way you do pushups. That tells me what you’ve been doing physically over the last few years, it tells a story, believe it or not, and good quality coaches and physical therapists and professionals are able to draw that story out, not just from one simple movement, but from seeing a lot of data points over the years, it’s actually a pretty cool thing that we get to learn about you guys is how your body moves, accepting what in our daily life has led us to how we move today.


All right, that’s the truth about it? So a lot of what our mentalities are surrounding eating comes from our parents. How close are you guys with your parents? Are your parents still with us? If they’re not with us, do you remember going back to when you were younger, what type of messages they sent to you about being physical in the world?


Did they send you positive messages or were they not so positive? And you learned to curate them into positive moves later on in life, right? These are all things. Our parents are the first ones to kick us down with that nutrition game. And they they’re the first ones to kind of force us to eat the, the squash right in the spinach or the eggplant or something like that. Not that you know, roasted eggplant, you’re able to get used to, or acclimatized to eating certain types of food when you’re younger, because your parents cooks you some food, your caretakers, they were the first ones and their ideas on physicality and health help to guide you in some direction. Have you thought about how that is? It is something that I cover with a lot of folks, like oftentimes the motivation for you to lose weight in the gym.


It comes from what you feel about your body image. That stuff is connected largely to how your parents thought about their own body image. Not about yours necessarily, but their own. Have you thought about that? And so what I’ll often do is I’ll be able to talk to you and be like, yo, the way that you’re thinking about your health and your body that was fermented as a young one, you thought about your life physically, because someone influenced you and those people, those influencers were, your parents, were your fam as a disproportionate impact on our it’s your parents’ fault.


Notice how I said that. It sounds like a negative thing, but it’s your parents’ fault. That’s the truth. Blame them, blame them for the good. All right. Blame has a negative comment connotation. So maybe it’s not blame them, but it’s charge them, charge your parents with teaching you these habits. But guess what? As adults, we have the ability to change that. So what your parents had an impact on you, right? What’s your mom and pops what they had an impact you on as on you, as a youngster, has everything to do with your physicality mindset today. Believe it or not. I see it all too often in you guys it’s disproportionate.


For me, it was a different impact. I didn’t know if my mom played sports as a youngster when she was young. I don’t know if she played sports, right. I almost know for a fact, my old man did not. Right. So both of them were like about that, about those books, both of them when they were younger were about that family life. Right? Of course, where they grew up and when they grew up, it was a different altogether culture and era, but for them it wasn’t sports. So for me coming here and learning, and when I say coming here, I mean moving to this country and when I got here, I had to take on learning. It was my way of kind of acclimatizing to the American culture. Right? So that was my inroad. So you could see how that juxtaposition actually impacted the way that I saw physicality.


And let me just say this, that as my mom got a little bit older in her life, that’s when she started doing her marathons and her half marathons actually, after she turned in the age of 50. But before that, you know, I mean, there was a lot of great runners back in Jamaica. So that’s what they were all on. Track was a huge thing back in the day over there. But it wasn’t like my parents were out here being, you know, they weren’t basketball, players, football players, tennis players. Nah. So actually wanting to get into that and not distance myself from sports actually helped me get more athletic. What about you guys?


If it isn’t about the physicality, it has everything to do with the way you eat. Believe that, like I mentioned earlier, you were a kid and your parents didn’t like vegetables very much, right? Guess what? You did not eat spinach. No Popeye for you. No, no, no, no, no. Instead you were all about that. Maybe you were about that freaking pork life, right? Maybe you were eating a lot of the starches, right? You were about that life. Maybe it was all pasta for you. Maybe it was maybe you were lucky enough to have parents that were really into a healthy living anyway. So it wasn’t just one type of thing. But trust the way you eat as a youngster informs the way you grow up, thinking about your food and the most obvious example is that of vegetables. Like if your parents cooked vegetables and made ’em real tasty, you probably have an affinity for ’em as an adult. If they weren’t about it, you ain’t about it either as an adult and you might have a hard time incorporating them into your diet today, it’s a trip how that can disproportionately impact blame your parents, right?


Blame ’em, but love them because times were different. Now it depends how old your parents are, right? Your parents were in their fifties or sixties. Then this is a little bit less applicable. Or excuse me, it’s a little, they have a, more of a disparate understanding of the way fitness and nutrition is today. Because if they’re in their fifties and sixties today, right, the time was a lot more, I don’t wanna say necessarily simple, but they’re yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and say it. It was a lot more simple for them to get down and be physical and eat. Basically. If they were physical, it was either, are you physical or not? Yes or no. There wasn’t. What gym did you go to? What did you do for a workout? Do you like doing CrossFit? Like none of that? Nah, it was just, are you physical?


<Laugh> right. Talking about 1972 living. It was, are you physical and active? That is the question nowadays. There’s 42. Sub-Questions in 82 different types of workouts. And back then it was where and when did you source your food? Now, if you’re a younger parent, like if you’re like parents are kind of I would say about my age, maybe 40 or so this is a completely different paradigm, but most of us who are having parents that are either very, you know, elderly or maybe fif late, mid fifties and sixties, you guys, you guys were informed a lot differently. Cuz a paradigm shifted from the point in like the seventies, everybody can knows about the inflection point where obesity starts to aggrandize in America and let’s just stick with America. There’s an inflection point in the early seventies from like 72 to 73 where obesity starts to skyrocket people like at one point to indicate that this was because of the addition of high fructose corn syrup as an additive, right?


As a sweetener. And people tried to charge that high fructose corn syrup with the obesity. But there’s so much that went on at that point inside of nutrition, blame your parents at the end of the day for the good stuff too. They were the ones that informed the way you eat and the way you move in life. And I want you guys only today to think about it. There are, there’s a really positive and a not so positive way that we can couple of ways that I’m gonna give you that we can think about what our parents affected our eating and physicality. All right. So there’s a good and a bad and I want to give you two points each. All right. So run with me on this. On the positive side, everybody today has way more options and are more physical than our parents. Point blank period. Now I’m talking about the overwhelming majority of us, some of you guys out here, your parents were farmers or something like that. Right? And so when they were kids, they were over here having to literally push bales of hay around and plant garden rake just to eat. <Laugh> all right. It’s a little bit different.


It’s a little bit different. That level of physicality is kind of not matched out here unless you’re five days a week in the gym, something like that. But raising your own food is a lot of work, high calorie stuff, right? So by and large, we are more physical. All right. Case in point right here. Think about the nature of sports. Think about the athletes that were amazing that you saw in ESPN back in the day in the eighties and seventies, think about their counterparts today. Think who’s more muscular, who’s faster. We all know that rates of speed go up near exponentially every, every 10. Well, I mean for the last a hundred years, rates of speed and races have gone up exponentially. We’re getting more in shape cuz we’re more physical. We have more access than our parents. All right.


One thing that is very important and this is the second point about why it’s, how our parents positively impacted us was they showed us to break the cycle. So the first point is everybody’s more physical than our parents. All right? So our parents not being as physical when they were young, unless they had to be right, showed us, Hey, I’m kind of physical. You can be way more go to the gym, do your thing. There’s so many more options for you. I used to have to walk to walk to school or I rode my bike all around the city. When I was youngster, when I was a youngster before the advent of the fitness club, right. We hear that and we go, oh, I’ll do that. Plus 10 other things. <Laugh> that’s the first way. The second way is this. We learned to break the cycle from our parents.


Some of you guys had parents that love to drink beer and kick back and not do much of anything. And weren’t very healthy, right? And so we saw that. And what happened in us is we said, yo, I’m never going to be like that. Love my parents. Love my mom, love my people. My fam, I’m never going to live a physical life like that. I wanna get out. I wanna get out and break the cycle. One of the ways that I saw that my parents handled their stress in their life was actually to kind of be low on the low.


I mean emotionally and not really taking care of themselves, letting themself go. I don’t want that, that obesity. I had to see it. I saw how it had inroads into their life. I don’t want that. That is actually a positive thing for us. Some of you guys will have the great experience of reaching back out to your parents and being like, here are the beats to a better physical life cuz I learn them and I look, I know that’s no small task and some of you parents, some of you have parents that are stubborn, right? Parents don’t listen. They’re like youngster. I raised you. So here are the not so good ones. All right. So we got two good reasons. Here are the two, not so good ways that our parents might have impacted our health and eating.


Okay. Our parents had less choices to eat and they had to make due with less options today we have way more. Now that’s not really necessarily our parents fault. It’s not necessarily our parents’ fault. This is just kind of a truth. It’s a truth about the way we’re we’re out here. Parents were raised with less food choices in general, there was less convenience food. There was definitely no a huge absence of GMOs back then. So you couldn’t get like avocados every freaking day of your life. For example, or fruit, you couldn’t get permafrost resistant fruit in 1981. You know what I mean? So it’s not really like a negative habit that your parent built. It’s just kind of a truth. And maybe our parents aren’t aware of that today, but it’s much more challenging to eat when they were younger and stay really healthy today. It’s a lot easy to stay healthy and to go the other way, right. To eat poorly because there’s just so many options. It’s the, on the vs dilemma. All right. That’s a book by Michael Paul. It’s basically like we’re so abundant with food that we have every option in the world. And that makes it easy for us to eat like crap because there are no limitations on what we should eat for health because I could eat whatever, whenever, especially now with, you know, all these app services. So I won’t blame the parents on that one.


And here’s the here’s so here’s the real major way is habits. Just poor habits having poor. If our, if our parents were not athletic and actually dislike sports and discouraged us from getting involved or performer, poor performers themselves, athletically themselves. I mean, if there were poor performers, athletically <laugh> ah, right. We might have received messages from them that we’re either gonna be poor performers or that it’s worth it to not even try and believe me. I’ve seen folks who are guided in that direction who became adults and still to this day, wanna prove that they can be athletic and they’re much, much older than I am. I see it all the time is that you guys where your parents kind of downplayed being physical, but you’re out here trying to say, Hey, nah, you could do whatever you need to do. Physically,


If you just try, maybe you had parents that were really unhealthy, right? Smoking cigarettes, drinking martinis, guess living like Frank Sinatra or somebody, but you know what I mean? Really unhealthy unconsciously, the act of drinking too much of smoking a lot eating once a day, stress eating and binging. All of those habits we watch as youngsters and maybe we absorb them as adults. So that’s, that’s a, now I’m telling you guys maybe blame the parents there, right? So what we do, how do we solve it? We gotta just take a look. We gotta take a look. I’m always interested. When I ask my mom like what she used to eat as a youngster, but that’s different. It’s different because my mom wasn’t raised in America. So it maybe comes off as a little bit more odd if you’re, but would be more odd if your parents were raised in America, be like, what’d you used to eat, same thing, you’re eating, but maybe ask them for a full who cooked food for them.


Is that a common thing? Cuz I feel like it’s not anymore that we’re cooking food at home. There were such thing as home cooking. Now it’s a little bit less common that we’re out here cooking our own home cook deliciousness, because that does inform, that does inform if we emphasize cooking a lot and had that around as youngsters, as adults, we’re more likely to again, remember control the feeding cycle. When I get my food, where from the feeding cycle, not the supply chain, but the feeding chain where I get my food, how much of it I put on the plate? I control every aspect of my meals. I buy my own food. I cook it the way I like I par it and I don’t go overboard. When that feeding chain, as I call it is broken. That’s when we start getting into, I’m gonna buy from wherever, with the big portions, with I like this meal, more than that.


I’m not pairing foods together for health. And that’s when our food habits start to shift. You know, what did your parents do for physicality when they were young? Were they dancers, right? Were they out here break, dancing, like beat street or something like that? Like crush groove. Were they out here doing the you know, were they just played a lot of sports? You know, maybe, you know, parents or your dad or uncle, whatever did some wrestling or some football, right? Whatever it was, that was their way of staying in shape. Back in the day, there was a lot more jazz style or excuse me step aerobics. And you know, you had those type gyms. Maybe they went there. It was definitely a lot less common. Find out, be aware of your own habits and then go ahead and make those shifts as adults. And it could start today for sure. We could have that conversation today. Why not? All right. So thanks for joining me. I’m gonna leave you with that one. Try it out. Let me know how it goes by going to the website, ego killer show.com. You like this episode, rate me on apple podcast. Five stars will get you a free gift. I promise. And until the next one, you guys,


Thanks for listening. Stay up.